Steve McNair

Since I dissed MJ (the child toucher…) I can’t let this one go either. It wouldn’t be socially responsible for me to do so.

While I am a fan of Steve McNair (much to the dismay of certain associates of mine), the circumstances of his death could have been easily avoided. He could have died of diabetes like many Black people in our society. He could have died from heart disease like many older football players because of rampant steroid use during their career. However, I don’t think that would be likely considering the fact that he was always injured and his career was shortened. Usually people on the juice tend to get better as they age and win championships (sans A-Rod.)

But, back to the topic at hand. The circumstances of his death could have been avoided like the plague. All he had to do was stay faithful to his wife. Yeah, I know, another one of life’s tradgedies that can be solved just by being a decent person. Anyone with a 4th grade education (not recieved in the states of Kansas or Mississippi) knew what went down as soon as the news was leaked that Air McNair was found dead with some twenty year old. Yet, the news stations (when they aren’t busy covering the death of Michael and neglecting the death of Billy Mays) and team of investigators assigned to the case have taken nearly a week to come up with what happened. In five seconds, I not only knew what happened, but made a dramatization of said events using puppets in my head. This is the scene.

Place: Newly purchased condo by Steve McNair and random bummy member of his entourage from college (who still hangs with him because he has money and is basically a man groupie whose only purpose in the purchase of the condo is so that he can lie to his wife and sleep around with random skeezers…but hey, I’m not hating)

Time: Night time. Negroes love the night time.

Kazemi (skeezer chick): Why don’t you leave your wife. We can be together. WE can get married! I love you Steve.
Air McNair: Uhhh, how many times I got to tell you baby, marriage ain’t nothin but a sheet of paper.
Kazemi: Then you should tell your wife you love me!
Air McNair: Nah. That’s alright. Look, I love you. I told you this. Come on, let’s f*ck. I’ll pay for another semester of community college for you.
Kazemi: No! If I can’t have you, then she can’t either.
Air McNair: Don’t be like that baby. I mean, that’s my wife.
Kazemi: F*CK YOU N*GGA!
Air McNair: Look you crazy b*tch…she’s the mother of my children. I’m just f*ckin’ you…
Kazemi: Is that it? Huh? You just think I’m one of these hoes! I ain’t no ho Steve! I got dreams and aspirations n*gga. I’m going to own my own hair salon and serve breakfast food there! (I might have gotten this from BAPS…)
Air McNair: I’m outta here.

-BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!-

Kazemi stands over McNairs body crying.

Kazemi: We could have been together. I loved you Steve. Now, we gonna be together the hard way.

Gun to the dome…BLAM!

Kazemi falls over.

Roughly an hour or so later, random man groupie shows up hollering about people being shot. Waits thirty minutes before calling the cops like an idiot.

Tiger Woods

If it were 50 years ago Tiger Woods would have been beaten and lynched with the best of them. They would have called him a N*gger-Ch*nk and told him to go eat fried chicken rice (yeah, not clever, but blatant racists usually aren’t clever). While it’s true that to Black people, he looks Black (and to Asians he looks Asian, I kid you not, they claim him like Black folk do) this isn’t the 50s.

While blatant racism still exists, and many pro-Black people feel the need to have everyone (especially the most famous athlete in the world) Black on board to fight for the Black plight, if Tiger doesn’t feel like taking on that battle, then he doesn’t need too. I mean, it’d be great if Tiger said did a Black power salute after he won the masters or something, but odds are, that isn’t going to happen. He’s a grown man. He can do what he wants. He’s not selling crack in the hood. He isn’t doing commercials for menthol cigarettes or malt liquor targeting children. He’s not detrimental to the Black community, so people need to get off his back.

Tiger Woods identifies with being Bi-Racial (or mixed as us not quite so P.C. people say). He contributes millions of his own money to charity causes to help benefit needy children (lots of whom I assume are Black). So, while stupid ultra-pro-Black idiots with no idea of what they are talking about sit around and criticize this man, while he does more for the most important aspect of the Black community (children…yes children believe it or not, not you idiots with degrees in Communications and African-American Studies because you weren’t intelligent enough to do something else), it pisses me off.

In short. Yes, it’d be great if Tiger were to take aim at racism and against racist issues, but he doesn’t have to. He’s helping others and doing good will towards his fellow man. That’s good enough for me, and it should be good enough for you jokes.

NOTE: I consider myself semi-pro Black. I have nothing against people with degrees in Pan-African Studies, or even against people who bash Tiger, I’m just getting some crap off my chest. Communication degrees are a different story. 🙂

The NBA draft

This upcoming draft is going to be horrible. This might be the worst draft since since the draft of 2000. For those of you who don’t follow sports, I’ll try to throw you people a simile. If the draft that happens Thursday is the recession we’re in now, then the 2000 NBA draft was the 1929 stock market crash.

Lots of people are saying that the draft won’t be that bad because of all the athletes in the draft, but to those people I ask them to identify the people on the following list of athletes.

Darius Miles (I actually like him, but he sucks)
Keyon Dooling
DerMarr Johnson
Stromile Swift

Look familiar. They should, they’re on the All-Lotto Pick bust team from the 2000 draft. This year will be no different.

The three best players of this draft (who won’t flop and perform miserably) are Blake Griffin, Ricky Rubio, and Stephan Curry. There will be a few solid role players like any draft but Mr. I got a 12 on the ACT so I had to go play (ride the bench) in Europe won’t be one of them. He sucks…